They Fight Crime
by The Lance of the Future
Summary: He's a cop who doesn't always play by the rules. He's an alien brain invader who probably should follow the rules so his boss doesn't eat him. Together they fight crime.
1. My Name is Kevin Anders

My Name is Kevin Anders

A lone cop car moved down the streets of [removed] heading back towards the station. Inside the single officer keeping his hands somewhat tightly gripping the steering wheel. He blinked once again ignoring the pain from the left side of his face from what was surely a black eye. He wasn't a remarkable looking man; The standard fit build a good beat cop can have with maybe some muscle formation from a gym visit or two, slightly brown skin not really giving an exact sign of racial origin or if he was just tan, short cut black hair framing his face in an ok way, brown eyes (when not turning a lovely shade of purple on one side) most alert though seeming to glaze slightly at times, and honestly a good example of average. He was Kevin Anders cop and all around average man.

{So was that second of control there because he hit us so hard you dislodged or what?}

If not for the fact his body wasn't his own. In fact the one that was in control just tightened his jaw slightly and avoided looking in the mirror to see the who was being referenced; That being the large bald biker currently unconscious in the back seat handcuffs almost straining against the thickness of his arm.

"I was just let you experience a moment of weakness before reasserting my dominance and showing the superiority of Yeerk hand to hand training." There was the name for what now used Anders body. Yeerk, a race of space slugs that control the bodies of other species by slipping in through the ear canal and wrapping themselves around the brain. Would be conquers currently undergoing a secret infiltration of the planet Earth. The people they infested only getting brief freedom when waiting at the end of three days cycle in the invaders secret base called the Yeerk Pool. For every three days they needed to leave their hosts and bath in the pools to absorb life giving Kandrona rays. This one was named Wessel 061996 and had been using Kevin Anders as a host for about one year now. Though believe himself overqualified Wessel was low ranking and as such spent most of the time living his hosts life when not sent out to do some meaningless grunt work.

{You mean all those other times you tried that and it didn't work?}

Wessel just tried to ignore it and focus on his driving. Not that it was easy for the smell of the backseats occupant was also burning his 'borrowed' nostrils. A smell of pricey booze, cheap drugs, and he didn't want to know what else seemed to blanket the inside of the car.

{Come on why do you got to keep up the superiority act anyways? I've had you in here long enough to know you don't care that much.}

The Yeerk avoided smacking Anders forehead into the top of the steering wheel not wanting to add anymore pain to his current situation.

"We are not having this conversation again."

{Well what else can I do you don't even have the radio on.}

"What and listen to the brain rotting trash they call popular music?"

{Hey you know it doesn't literally do that with you sitting on it all day. Besides it must be better than listening to nothing.}

"No I just have to listen to an annoying human who won't ever be quiet."

{What you going to do make me relive Sophomore year?} Though tempting to do so would mean Wessel would have to remember it as well. So he just sighed and kept driving.

"Fine but can you at least keep quiet tomorrow? I have to report in on how many people we've sent to the sharing and you distracted me so much with your banter they almost threatened us with Blade Ship duty." Anders gave the equivalent of a mental shudder at the implications of Blade Ship duty.

{Ok but you owe me one for the boredom.}

Wessel just rolled Anders eyes though a slight tugged appeared at the corners of his mouth.

"Fine…. Also .. I guess… thankyouforknockinghimoutforme." Though said at a rapid pace being that it was using his body Anders picked up on it.

{No problem.}

Of course what would have been a touching moment in the mostly negative history of Yeerk/Human relations was swiftly ruined when the arrested biker rose from his slumber just long enough to ruin the interior of the back seat with a great cry of 'Blargargallarg'.

* * *

So this was somewhat of a test chapter for this story. Most likely not going to be a connected plot and more just snapshots of these two living their life. Please review and leave any questions you may have. Also going to fix a certain text issue hopefully soon.


	2. Morning Run

Morning Run

Running down the sidewalks with the sun barely peeking over the horizon like a dog peeking over your armrest for food Wessel took the time to contemplate human insanity. He had to start this run leaving home when it was darker than inside the Taxxon pit he'd already been running for an hour and a half. His borrowed legs burning as if on fire and the whole time he had to feel that smugness coming from the mind he currently sat on top of.

{Why would you in any sense do this to yourself human?}

{Oh stop being a baby I've been doing a route like this since I moved to [wouldn't you like to know] during Freshmen year.} In fact with a quick glance at Kevin's memory the Yeerk in his head could see that this type of run was one of his constants in life. Even being perhaps the one things positive about the dreaded Sophmore year. This of course lead to the obvious that in order to be Kevin Anders, Wessel 061996 would have to keep up this activity. No matter how much he disliked to the physical feeling it brought. Getting tired he tried for a second to slow his pace ever so slightly thinking that with Kevin not in control he wouldn't noticed. Yet like any Yeerk trying to eat vegan while inside a Taxxon this was doomed to failure.

{Hey hey what is this slowing down I see. The real me would never slow down so come on double time it slug. You wanna be an air force ranger, you wanna live a life of danger, you don't wanna be raped by strangers!} Wessel at this took off faster than before choosing the brief physical discomfort over having his hosts loud and many times vulgar 'inspirational' chants ringing inside the skull he called home. Still as he felt borrowed lungs begin to feel like they might pop he wished that something could distract him. Well in the way that didn't make him want to change course into traffic like his hosts idea of distracting was.

Though it did seem luck slightly smiled in some way upon him for he could see up ahead what looked like a older man walking his dog having an altercation with a younger man. He picked up the ace but by the time he got to the two the younger had pushed the older man down his dog, a small yapping Pomeranian, barking and jumping away. Wessel quickly kneeled down in front of the older gentleman.

"[nope]PD what just happened?" The old man shakily stood up.

"That young bastard took my wallet and gave my poor Fuffikins quite the fright." Wessel just raised an eyebrow at the old man's odd choice of name for a dog, not being privy to the wonder that is Fluffer McKitty, and seeing that the young man hadn't mad much ground took off in a sprint. Honestly it was beginning to seem like it wouldn't be much of a challenge. The perp was just some wire thing kid trying horribly to hide his small frame under a trench coat two sizes too large and a hat barely covering what seemed to be an entire shrubbery of red hair. Wessel could see the wallet still tightly clutched in the kids hand as he ran for it. Still he wasn't a match for a seasoned runner like Kevin Anders even if in his opinion Wessel couldn't do it as good when in control. They closed the gap quickly and Wessel reaches out grabbing the wallet from the youths hand when his wilding pumping arms was raised upwards and prepared to take him down to the ground. That was until red shrubbery seemed to reach inside his pocket and threw what seemed to be dust or a brown powder behind him at his pursuer.

{Wessel. Wessel… WAKE THE HELL UP!} The Yeerk quickly snapped back at his host.

{What do you mean wake up human I'm about to take him down!}

{No you're not you froze us up for like a whole minute there man.} Looking at it Wessel in fact did now realize that he was standing in the middle of the sidewalk retrieved wallet clutched in his hand and no perp to be seen. He quickly shook their head.

{So what the hell was that? Does that happen normally to you space slugs?}

{No I'm most likely just exhausted from your stupid human fitness ritual. Let's just take this wallet back to its owner there is no need to speak of this.} Kevin could tell there was more too it but unfortunately mind scanning wasn't a two way street most times so he'd just have but the little trust in Wessel he had in that the Yeerk was somewhat right in it not being something to go into.

* * *

Hey thanks to all those that reviewed hope you like this new bit of story. Should be able to get these out at an ok pace with the Summer but who knows. As always leave a review or questions if you feel like it.


	3. WHALES!

WHALES!

Anders hit cold hard stone with a slightly whump while somewhat happy to have his head to himself for even a short amount of time he did wish it had better accommodations. Sure maybe not a five star hotel with attractive people of your preference feeding you grapes but at least a pillow would be nice. Still he simply sat against the back of his cell looking out at the empty cell across from him and the Hork-Bajir standing guard. Actually thinking about it for a second Kevin was sure he recognized this one.

"Hey Scar how's it going? Your blades are looking sharp today I see." The Hork-Bajir turned its head so its right eye could look at him and allowing a good view of the three scars going over it. The story was they came from a time before the Earth invasion had even began and one of Visser Three's various 'pets' that he had collected in order to gains as a morph got out of confinement. It wasn't pretty to say the least and for the Hork-Bajir standing there even being able to say you faced it and didn't just become chunky salsa meant you had to be tough. Still that one eye began to glare wanting to scare quiet whatever mewling host had spoken up before widening slightly in recognition.

"Ah if it isn't Wessel's host. Well if you must know I believe I'm up for promotion from host guard duty." Kevin got up and moved forward leaning his back against the cell bars.

"Oh to what? You going to be the main dish at Visser Three's next barbeque?" Scar just rolled the eye looking at Anders used to the hosts frequent attempts at getting under his guards skin. Though Scar had gotten used to it the banter that the attempts evolved into at least made for some relief when on guard duty.

"No actually its…" Almost as if the universe, or giant red eyes with prune-face dinosaurs minions, wanted to leave his promoted position a mystery there conversation was interrupted by what sounded like screaming. In fact when they turned to look, or turned to peak out through the bars in Kevin's case, they saw down the row of cages two human controllers trying dragging a somewhat short woman toward the pool. The woman was a brunette and her skin was tanned like someone that spend a lot of time at the beach. Her clothes being a t-shirt and shorts over what seemed to be a wetsuit further gave way to the interpretation Still eventually any theorizing about her personal life from appearance was cut off when they heard what she was shouting.

"WE MUST GIVE OURSELVES TO THE WARM EMBRACE OF HOLY BLUBBER!" Both human and Hork-Bajir controller blinked in confusion as the woman continued to talk about the sensations of such holy blubber. Eventually Scar just grumbled and spoke up sending a glare that could cut stone towards the shouting host when she and the two controllers got near.

"You two what is this host babbling so loudly about?" What Scar expected was for the woman to be quieted through fear and the two controllers to give an explanation. Instead the woman ignored the glare completely and made a beeline to stand in front of Scar dragging the two controllers along like a large dog drags its owner and tilted her head upwards to look at the Hork-Bajir.

"You see sir…"

"I'm female."

"Ma'am I'm trying to teach these fine people about the whales." Once again confusion. Though at this point Kevin decided on speaking up.  
"Could you please clarify that statement." Upon hearing that the woman looked as happy as someone who'd just won a new car and began speaking animatedly jerking the two controllers trying to hold her around as she gestured.  
"You see one day my mind was opened. That was the day me and my Yeerk Ceta met we went to the beach and heard it. The song whales sing not with their throats but with their minds. With that we realized that truly they are beings beyond humans. Better and with a love and understanding for all creatures Earth or not. But not only that but the Dolphins were there messengers of love. On that day we became more than Jessica Cassandra Lilly and Ceta 1986 but the PRIESTESS OF THE SACRED WHALE SONG! SO COME COME AND SING WITH US AND BE CONVERTED!" At this point she started making strange awwoga like sounds and Kevin couldn't take it no more and was laying on the floor of his cell laughing so hard his sides were hurting. Scar on the other hand had enough of this woman's nonsense and batted away the two controllers still unable to control her and took hold of the human herself on large hand covering her mouth.

"You who let this incompetence continue leave now before I think better and report you I will end this farce personally." She looked through the bars at the man starting to recover from his laugh fit.

"As for you consider this a goodbye for after today I'll be hopefully in much better places." Kevin just gave a little goodbye wave from the floor as the Hork-Bajir went off taking the crazed woman with her. Eventually he recovered enough to sit up again and just shrugged having enjoyed the brief break from the bleakness of sitting in a dingy cell waiting to be made host to a parasitic alien again. Besides the crazy being outside his cell was certainly better than the time he had to share with that fisherman that believed a ancient race of fish people sought to conquer Earth.

* * *

So not so much crime fighting this time but more a little bit of world building for the kind of things Kevin has to experience as a Yeerk host in a comedy story. Anyways as always if you like leave a review and if you have any questions/want to convert to the Sacred Whale song I'll be sure to give an answer/tell you the steps next time.


	4. Explode into Babies

Explode into Babies

Currently the Yeerk Wessel in control of the police officer Kevin Anders was once again driving through the streets in his patrol car with a black eye. Keeping the windows up in order to avoid it stinging from the cold February air. Though this time it wasn't from someone they were arresting deciding that getting into a punching contest would allow them to get away. No instead this time things were a little different. That being the subject in mental conversation currently ongoing.

{So what the hell made you think it was a good idea to punch ourselves in the face?}

{To stop another one of your evil plans of course.} Wessel grips the wheel a little harder.

{Evil plans?! I was asking the girl at the coffee place what her plans for the weekend were. I wasn't even planning on making her a controller… well myself at least.} Kevin's face gave a little involuntary twitch.

{Ok and when the hell did I give you permission to use my body for dating?} Wessel just rolled his eyes.

{You are an attractive male by your species standards people may begin to get suspicious if we stay single for too long.}

{That or maybe we just stick to what I made you agree to when this first started and just have us be a workaholic.} Wessel took a left turn harder then was necessary.

{Look maybe you are ok with us being a shut in that does nothing but arrest people and jog at ridiculous hours but I might like to have someone around is that so bad?} Kevin bit down on his bottom lip.

{When you use me to do it and don't even ask yes it is. We're a cop you know how illegal what that would be if you didn't ask me about it. So why don't you go back to your goop pool and gyrate on one of your slug buddies.} At this Wessel had to resist stomping his foot down on the accelerator and mentaly shouted back.

{Well maybe it is because I don't want to explode into babies Kevin!} With that for a full ten minutes there was silence even in the mental space the two shared. Eventually Kevin's voice spoke back up.

{Wessel are you feeling ok because I think you just said explode into babies.}

{I know what I said.} He clenched his jaw.

{Look ok Yeerk birds and bees 101. Yeerk meets two other Yeerks, all three Yeerks merge, and then the merged Yeerks explode into hundreds of babies. There is no love involved and even if there was that basically means you, your love, and some other individual are deciding to commit suicide. So maybe you see why I'd find your human courtship preferable.} Once again silence reigned over the car both somewhat wishing that some crime would happen near them so that they could cut the conversation short. None did in time so eventual Kevin spoke up again.

{Ok so didn't know that and that does seem kind of a shitty break but still doesn't make you doing that without my permission ok. That and somewhat unrelated but if it takes three then why do you guys consider yourselves guys or girls.} Wessel rolled his eyes.

{Blame yourself we get these things from our hosts ergo I get it from you.}

{Ok but you were calling yourself a guy right when you first got into my head. Also we both know the thing for girls with glasses doesn't come from me.}

{Shut up don't question it. Still what if… we review our options and perhaps come to a choice in partner that we both find.. acceptable and work from there.} Wessel felt his throat itch as if Kevin tried to get the body to laugh.

{My did you just ask me to be in a relationship with you? For I'm flattered but I'm just not sure that is the way I swing ya know. }

{I'm being nice. I could just ignore your protests clamp my control down and do whatever I want anyways so why not just take the offer and stop being an ass.}

{Well it is that time of year. Why not I might give it one shot if we can come to agreement but whatever happens we have to be in agreement at all steps got it?} Wessel fought having a small smirk for he didn't want his host to read into it.

{Fine deal.}

* * *

So real life happened, a lot, and guess who just got back in the swing of trying to write. Still this was a conversation I wanted to try writing between them eventually and hopeful I got something workable here. Anyways hope you enjoyed the chapter and if you feel up to it why not leave a little review?


	5. Performance Review

Performance Review

In the [Removed under orders of the Inquisition] Police Department the general noise of average activity was interrupted by the balding, large, pale, and mustachioed face of Chief Brandon suddenly appearing through the open door to his office.

"ANDERS GET IN HERE!" Wessel snapped up quickly disengaging from some paperwork he was doing at his desk and quickly heads for the Chief's office. He walks in quickly closing the door and blinds. By the time he turns around instead of an angry chief he is sitting calmly in his chair smiling kindly and what Wessel recognized as a cup of hot coco sitting on the desk in front of the chair he was to sit in.

"So sorry about the shouting Wessel but you know how my human is supposed to be. Have a seat." Wessel does so while hearing a groan from the back of his mind.

{Jesus it creeps me the hell out to see the Chief like this. I'm just going to like float into the subconscious or something tell me when you're done.} Wessel avoid rolling his at his hosts statement and simply took a sip of the drink before responding to his superior politely.

"Sub-Visser Fifty-three.." The large man quickly raises up his hand.

"Please we've spoken about this just call me Kessel I don't want to have formality making these meetings uncomfortable between us."

"Uh yes Kessel sir is this a review of some sort. I thought we usually did these at the Sharing?" He was resisting the urge to fidget in his seat while also ignoring Kevin's suddenly making him think about punching his superior and fleeing in case this was going south.

"Ah yes while that is true there is some other orders the Visser did not want discussed in front of the others. These meetings are happening with many of our brethren in the police force." While it was clear from his tone and words this was meant to ease Wessel's nerves the mere mention of the Visser was doing the opposite.

"Yet still let us start with the normal review." He opened a drawer on his desk and pulled out a form on a clipboard clicking open a pen.

"Now then first have you been having any more issues with your host attempting to overpower your control over his body?" Wessel put on his best fake smile and pretended to give an attempt at a "sinister" chuckle.

"Of course not I've broken him utterly he hardly ever makes a peep anymore." A few tense seconds passed and Kessel simply hummed writing something down.

"Very good glad to see you've made progress in that department. Now secondly have you any evidence that could lead to the capture of the hated Andalite bandits?" Mentally Wessel just sighed remember when these reviews didn't ask every Yeerk if they somehow magically found them. He could understand why it was becoming so important to find them but it wasn't like one of them was conveniently going to decide to rob a bank and he'd just arrest them and be a hero to the Yeerk Empire.

"No sir I've seen no sign of the filthy degenerate Andalite bandits." If he noticed the sarcasm in that response there was no response.

"Well it is what it is. Now then on the final note for this review it has been noticed that the general infestation recruitment for us has been low so starting today we will be starting the 'Feel Safe with Sharing' campaign. Quite simply if you are responding to any domestic disturbance, case of violence, or other such unpleasantness we recommend you 'off handedly' mention to the victims how they can find the resources they need to 'heal' with the Sharing. While obviously not going to bring a large influx with the current 'loses' all we can do will help." While Kessel ended that with a chuckle and a smile as if feeling it was like he just announced simply the time for the company picnic Wessel felt very different. Mostly clamping down his control of the body as he felt Kevin's mind suddenly surge up and try to take control back.

{That sick bastard I'm going to strangle him, then when his little Yeerk body wiggles out of the Chief's ear I'm going to stop him into paste, and then I'm going light the paste on fire!} Wessel quickly was forced into a war on two fronts. One was purely just keeping Kevin down while the other was not showing any emotion on his face as too what was happening.

{Look I know I know but it's our jobs… look we don't get called in on many of those anyways so we just cross our fingers that we don't have to be the officer on scene who has to do it.} He still felt the molten hotness of Kevin's rage but he did stop actively trying to take over and retreated again. Wessel tried to ignore the fact for some reason he felt anything towards his host being mad at him over annoyance over the human insolence or some such. In real time the exchange was mere seconds and his superior simply took out another paper and handed it to Wessel. He scanned it only briefly while drinking more of the coco to calm himself. He saw it was drug arrests about some new narcotic; not much was known about it currently but apparently one of its street names was Brown Sugar Momma. He set the cup down and cleared his throat.

"Drug arrests sir what does this have to do with us?" Kessel sighed and leaned in a little closer speaking softly.

"The thing is if you'd notice a few of these arrests were fellow Yeerks." Wessel's eyes widened and he quickly scanned the paper again seeing that a few of the names and pictures actually were of others he recognized from the Yeerk Pool and the Sharing. At the same time this seemed impossible most Yeerks new to avoid such things with their hosts lest they become a snack bag for the Visser. As if he saw that train of thought in his eyes the Sub-Visser takes back the paper and puts it with the others.

"I'm hoping you understand the issues that could arise here. As such you and some of the others in the force are going to have finding dealers of this drug a top priority. Of course I believe you especially will come through for us. Always believed you were the best we had on the force." He said this seemingly sincere with a wide smile as if he was a teacher giving a student their gold star not out of cynical psychological manipulation but because they legitimately thought the child earned it.

"No go on I shouldn't keep you longer go out and have a nice rest of your day Wessel." At this he did stand up and as quickly as possible with the least amount of suspicion left the room to get back to work.

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Hope you enjoyed if you feel like it leave a review.


	6. Wheeling and Dealing

Wheeling and Dealing

Wessel drove the car slow as he moved through the more urban area of town borrowed eyes scanning the corners. He tried to keep his vision sharp in the dusk of the setting sun. Not his police vehicle though right now he was in his civilian one. An old somewhat beat up green low rider from when his host decide it was the coolest car in the world and he had to have it. The Yeerk personally was not found of the car at all simply keeping it out of maintaining his act of being Kevin not that he was being nice to his host or anything. Eventually after about fifteen minutes of silent searching and nothing to show for it his host decide to start a conversation.

{Look so I can't do the whole memory scan thing you do to me so what exactly are we looking for here?} Wessel just sighed already missing the quiet.

{We are looking for Tommy Deals.} He felt the almost itch like sensation of Kevin trying to cause their eyebrow to rise up.

{You mean the Tommy Deals we arrested, who then got a Yeerk put in his head, and the Sharing has go to schools to talk about not doing drugs while also scouting out new hosts? Or is this some a different Tommy Deals and on a separate note is he related to the used car sales guy?} Wessel resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes while driving.

{Look I heard last time I was in the pool from some others that his Yeerk Delias 753 might have decided to continue his hosts old career on the side. If anyone is good for our first lead on this new drug it is going to be them.} It seemed like from their perspective only a few short seconds before they found their target leaning against a street light post. Dark skin mostly hidden by a dark green hoodie, blue jeans, black sneakers, somewhat pudgy, shorter than Kevin, though the weird part was what almost looked like cardboard fins attached to the hood and elbows of his top. Wessel pulled up to the sidewalk a bit of a distance from him and got out walking towards the other controller. His lit up though not with recognition but opportunity.

"Hey there you look like the type that could use a bit of relax…." He stopped now noticing who it was approaching him. "… aw fuck man come on man can't you just turn around and not act like you've seen me here? I'm just trying to earn a bit of extra cash what I do to piss you off this time?" Wessel rolled his eyes and went up to the shorter man and poked his chest with a finger.

"You mean besides the fact you are dealing again or the blades on your again? Really I'm curious which one you think I'd not be mad about Delias?" The one in question looked away and self-consciously rubbed his left elbow.

"Look I just kind of miss the old body at times. Some of us aren't as in love with human bodies as you are." Wessel glared at him and grabbed his arm twisting it upwards.

"How about you just be quiet unless I ask? Look I'm not going to report you or anything. Frankly I don't care what you are doing this is all off the record." Delias, while trying to ignore the pain in his arm, looked straight up confused at what he was saying. Wessel just kept a hold on the arm and looked him the eye.

"What I need is anything you got on a new drug called Brown Sugar Momma. Be honest for if it turns out you were lying to me I will personally recommending wines for the Visser to drink as he eats you." The drug dealer gulped and quickly went into a rambling explanation.

"Well I sure don't' have any to sell that is for sure. Never tried it I sell not partake you know? I mean heard some of us have been getting into it but none of them have been up to sharing. Hell no one that does it seems to want to share. Could be how prices are though. Not as many jobless types getting involved. Anyways almost no one knows who the dealers actually are. All cover their faces never get a good idea who they are like shadows man." Wessel gripped a little harder.

"Not too much useful so far Delias I know you are going to have something better than that for."

"Ok ok ok. Look there is a party coming up in the next month some trust fund son looking to make senator or something. Names William Woods he's getting a bunch of people to support him together. I sell to him sometimes but I heard he is going to bring some Brown Sugar Momma to it. Maybe next time I sell to him I'd recommend you as the person to bring in for the police vote?" Wessel smirked and let go of Delias' arm the other Yeerk quickly going to rub it and wince.

"Well thank you Delias be sure to do that. I'll be in touch." With that he just quickly turned on his heel and walked back to the car turning the key and driving away.

{So my constant companion slug do you think we can trust this guy? I mean Tommy Deals would sell out his only family… literally remember we arrested him trying to sell his cousin to those Russians.} Wessel just rolled his eyes and made a clicking sound with his tongue.

{Relax Delias might not be the perfect model of a loyal member of the Yeerk empire but he realizes it is better to not screw us over.} Kevin just gave a mental shrug.

{Alright then. So care to take a hungry officer after dinner you beautiful human lover?} Wessel just ignored Kevin's teasing squeezing the handle slightly but still did turn the car towards were they could find some food.


	7. Hit and Run

Hit and Run

Kevin/Wesel was standing on a somewhat quiet sidewalk on a lazy Sunday afternoon leaning up against a building and whistling.

{Wessel?}

{Yes?}

{Tell me why we are here again?}

{The governor of Texas is in town this week and the higher ups want him infested. So we and by that I mean Ms. Lily and Ceta are going to hit him with a truck as he goes to the steakhouse on the corner.} With that Wessel pointed to the short brunette manically grinning from the front seat of a large brown pickup truck that had just pulled up alongside them. Wessel looked her in the eye nodding and when she nodded back he turned on his heel and started walking away his own care being blocked a few blocks away. At this point Kevin once again decided to pipe up.

{Ok so two questions. First how did you get the crazy whale lover to agree to be the driver for this? Second why are we even doing this? Didn't the last time our oh so intelligent leaders try this kind of plan it failed miserably? I'd like to not think you just set us up to be a tasty appetizer at our evil overlords next dinner party. That or you just fucking made someone else take that place at the table!} Wessel just smirked as the sound of screeching tires, and if you had good hearing a yell of "For the sacred blubber!", rang out behind him.

{I just told her the governor was going promoting a fried food product called blubber nuggets when we were last in the pool together. Also relax Kevin the Visser is off on some new mad science project according to the higher ups probably too busy killing scientists at a faster rate than they're replaced to notice. Besides the infestation attempt is just a cover anyways. Turns out the governor is going to a certain someone's party and the Sub-Visser decided this was a good way to create a vacancy for us.} He turned a corner walking a bit faster so as to not be noticed once the truck hit. Of course then he starts feeling an itch in the back of his head and has to briefly grip his other arms feeling like it was about to fly up and hit his left eye. He held it for a minute before he felt the anger in the back of his mind calm down.

{Look Kevin the bases are covered why are you so angry about this?} The left eye twitched as he kept walking.

{Damnit I'm cop so maybe I'm not happy that I was just involved in planning a clandestine hit and run! Maybe for at moments like this I realize despite the fact that most days we can just keep being a good cop that we are actually the fucking bad guy now! That I actually know very little about you as a person yet you keep trying to act like we somehow friends!} Wessel stopped walking and just looked ahead of him for a minute.

{You probably don't believe me right now but I don't want to be the bad guy. If I could just throw it all away and leave you know what I'd be perfectly happy to be a cop and just help people because you know what fuck the Yeerk Empire!} He could feel a strange warmth in his mind before Kevin responded.

{Fuck the Yeerk Empire!} Wessel grinned and resumed walking at a slightly faster pace.

{Fuck them twice!}

{Fuck them three times!} They were in a jog now grin even wider.

{Fuck them with a cactus!} They were almost in a run now. Upon spotting their car they jumped up sliding along the hood before doing a little fist bump both their mental voices shouting.

{FUCK THEM WITH THE SPACE SHUTTLE!} Slightly panting they open the car door and take a seat inside. They sat for a minute before Kevin spoke up.

{Look I'm still mad but I guess it feels weirdly good to hear that.} Wessel just smirks and starts the car driving off.


	8. 99 Bottles

99 Bottles

"86 bottles of beer on the wall,

86 bottles of beer,

Take one down and pass it around,

85 bottles of beer on the wall!"

Kevin laid down on his back in the cell while waiting again to have Wessel squirmed into his head. He tapped his left foot the right leg resting on his knee while singing the song off tune and somewhat loudly. He'd been here about 3 hours by now and he had started to get bored. The female Hork-Bajir controller "Scar" once again guarding his cell arms crossed as best as possible without scratching herself. The best he could get out of her tonight was some sort of grumble about her recent promotions position being able to be active yet so she is back to guarding host cells. So with no source of conversation and the strangely long time his Yeerk was taking he eventually fell back on the standard method of entertainment, annoyance. Eventually though he heard the cell door squeak open and with a brief grumble of "you have to share" he say a large mustached man in a sports jacket thrown into the cell with him. The man immediately sat up and started shouting at Scar.

"You fucking goblin piece of shit if I could get out of this cage I'd crack open your throat like a Pez dispenser and shit down your neck!" At this point Kevin recognized it as his boss Chief O'Malley. Only one many could be so successful at making a string of vulgarity sound like something heroic. So he quickly shifted into a sitting position.

"Chief that you?" At this O'Malley turned to face him his face still red but seeming to cool somewhat.

"Anders heh of course I get thrown in with you, you bleeding heart jackass." Kevin just smiled the words to him sounding like a father saying he did good and calling him sport.

"Sir how have you been holding up?" The older man just rolled his eyes and leaned back.

"Kid you know very well I'm a tough old bastard some smiling fucking slug isn't going to break me." Kevin nodded at that but couldn't help but hear something else in that sentence. He knew he couldn't pry though for unlike Wessel the Sub-Visser was sure to try and rip every little memory of their brief time apart to see if any secrets were spelled. So for now he just nodded and enjoyed at least the brief company.

"So Chief want to help out getting on my guard's nerves? Works way better than shouting they know how to handle shouting." O'Malley huffed and crossed his arm.

"What and join you in your fucking middle school pussy foot shit?" He looked away but then Kevin could hear him clear his throat and they both began to sing.

"84 bottles of beer on the wall,

84 bottles of beer,

Take one down pass it around,

83 bottles of beer on the wall!" Scar just dug her toe claws into the ground ignoring the two humans. While moving into taking down the 83rd bottle Kevin stopped singing for he started to notice how O'Malley did it. It was a rich operatic tone almost flowing out of the large man's mouth. Not at all like the out of tune drivel Kevin could produce. Eventually the larger man noticed and turned his head glaring at him.

"Going to slap whatever gross alien tentacle is in your mouth out and tell me why you are so gob smacked." Kevin cough slightly and quickly tried to recover.

"Oh just uh didn't know you could sing sir is all." O'Malley huffed and looked out the bars of the cell.

"It was in University Anders just something an shrew asshole of an aunt wanted for me before she helped pay for it. Wasn't all a shit show I suppose met my wife that way." Kevin just quieted. He knew at least the Chief was married once remembering that before the Yeerks there was an old framed picture that his boss would keep face down on his desk only looking at it when he though none of his officers were watching. Kevin just swallowed and changed the crossing of his legs.

"Never knew that Chief that's .. uh interesting." O'Malley just looked at him sideways and laid his head back against the wall.

"Go back to singing Anders before I strangle you." Kevin just smiled and cleared his throat.

Sometime later after hitting the 44th bottle, and despite strict denial Scar humming along quietly for a few, the door was opened and two human controllers pulled him out leading him back to the pool. Kevin tried to start up conversation with them but they didn't budge their faces cold like stone. Eventually he found himself at the front of the line. While many behind him were crying or cursing Kevin just kept a tiny grin on his face. The first thing he learned was that out of all the things he could do not letting them see an ounce of distress messed with his captors heads more than anything. So he was on his knees ear near the liquid and eventually felt the wriggling entering of Wessel getting back in his head. His last thought before his brain was a shared space again was how it seemed the Yeerk was in some word more "gentle" in his entrance recently. Still he felt himself stand up outside of his own power and once again there were strings on him; that comparison also once again made him remember when Wessel bought every Disney movie he could simply because he hadn't seen them yet.

{Sorry about the time Kevin something… came up.} Kevin tried to give a mental equivalent of rolling his eyes but was shocked to realize his eyes actually did roll as they walked to the exit from the pool. Before he could even recover from the shock Wessel spoke up.

{Look Kevin just keep calm for now. Something came up and we've got some business to attend to tomorrow night. I don't want to say more right now.} Kevin mentally nodded once again finding his body following suit.

{Well… I'll look forward to it.}


End file.
